Heat Stroke, Honeymoons & Honeymoon Suites with Hospital Vibes

Honeymoons are supposed to be romantic. Tropical. Relaxing. You know, the kind of thing Pinterest dreams are made of. Instead, for our honeymoon, I gave my new husband the full “in sickness and in health” experience before the room service menu even arrived.

That time I nearly died on my honeymoon (and it wasn't even the wedding cake's fault).

Enter: heat stroke. Caused by an adventurous combo of sun, dehydration, chronic illness, and possibly the devil himself. I spent the afternoon hallucinating, waking up in an ambulance as an EMT screamed at me, "Ma'am please don't hit me. I'm going to put ice packs in your groin area." My new husband told me later that felt like he was on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy: Honeymoon Edition as he was trying to get 911 to stop hanging up on him all the while trying to give me CPR.

Was it magical? No. Memorable? Deeply. Romantic? Not unless you count him holding ice packs and a puke bucket at the same time.

I'm lucky eHarmony matched me with an Eagle Scout that has mad life-saving skills.

And yet—I survived. (Barely, we were told that if the ambulance had taken 10 more minutes to get to me, I'd have to add brain damage to my list of health issues.) Lesson learned: even when your body mutinies in paradise, there's always a story to tell. And probably an electrolyte packet to pack next time.

-🍑🐐🧳

Do you have a funny honeymoon or chaotic heat stroke story? If so, share in the comments.